In a recent blog post we talked about how only meeting people who fit your incredibly specific criteria can lead to your downfall.
Now we’ll tackle the second Principle of Pickiness:
The experience doesn’t live up to the expectations.
If You're Only Going After Women Like This, You're Probably Still Solo
An online dater’s expectations are far higher and more specific than those of John Doe, standing at the bar and looking for love. Of course they are. John doesn’t have a search engine to filter out women with cats (he hates cats) or Protestants (his Catholic mother would never approve). What John does have is the means to instantly assess whether the girl he has his eye on can keep up with his playful banter, and has a sense of humor that actually makes him laugh. No, he doesn’t know her income, but her perfume smells expensive. It could have broken the bank, it could have been money to burn, it could have been a gift…he just can’t tell.
The differences between online and real-life first encounters are vast. So, in order to make the most of either, you must adapt your game to the field of play. You’ll only get satisfaction if your expectations are realistic. If finding Mr. or Mrs. Right online is proving difficult, there are two key ‘Principles of Pickiness’ to consider. Here is the first:
You’re setting your sights too high.
Just because, all of a sudden, you have access to model-esque women or millionaire entrepreneurs does not mean it is a good idea to restrict your searches to only include them. If they are out of your league in the real world, chances are they will be online, too. Sorry to be harsh, but it’s true.
Remember, these people receive hundreds of emails, and don’t even open half of them. At ViDA, our analysis has shown that your chances of receiving a response from someone (granted, subjectively) better looking than yourself are 9% lower than if they are of a similar level of attractiveness. If you’re interested in how we got this number, tune in next week for some “Hard Data on Going After Hot Chicks.”
By refining your search too much, you are drastically narrowing your window of opportunity. We’re not suggesting you throw your standards to the wind; but you may never meet the girl who has it all just because she only works out 3-4 (instead of 5+) times a week, You told yourself you would settle for nothing less than optimum physical fitness, but you’re no Lance Armstrong…
